The pace of modern life has quickened over the last few years, and it’s showing no signs of slowing down. Unfortunately we have very little control over the world around us, fortunately we have absolute control over how we respond to it.
As technology distracts us, media barrages us, and real connection becomes more and more elusive, people are beginning to look for ways to manage the inevitable stress, insecurity, urgency, and feelings of meaninglessness and disconnection.
Meditation is a common tool that’s available to everyone, and has the flexibility to fit into whatever schedules and restraints we have in our day to day lives.
People who practice meditation, whether it be for connection, stress management, anxiety or simply productivity are able to increase their capacity for compassion, understanding, awareness, kindness and self acceptance.
Loving kindness meditation is a popular meditation practice that is specifically targeted at well being, stress reduction, and building a more understanding and compassionate view of the world and it’s people.
The practice of meditation itself gives us a small moment of calm in a world that can seem chaotic.
This moment allows us to develop an awareness of ourselves, our thoughts and feelings, other people, and the wider world.
We perceive these things without judgement and simply focus our attention on the moment, in observation.
If you’re new to meditation, you can find out how to start here.
WHAT IS LOVING KINDNESS?
The practice of loving kindness can be divided into two different areas: giving love, and taking away pain.
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Giving Love
Loving kindness instructs the practitioner to focus their attention on a person or group of people, normally you would start with someone close you, then someone who is neutral, finally someone who you have reason to dislike.
While imagining each person you send out as much warmth, love and kindness as you can, repeating something like:
“May you live with ease, may you be happy, may you be free from pain.”
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Taking Pain
The other side of the coin is taking pain.
Similar to giving love you start by imagining a person or group of people, normally you would start with someone close you, then someone who is neutral, finally someone who you have reason to dislike.
Then, while imagining your chosen person you think about absorbing the negative feelings or pain that they might be feeling, drawing it out of them and taking it into yourself.
HOW TO PRACTICE LOVING KINDNESS MEDITATION?
BODY POSITION:
To begin the meditation, find a place to sit or lie comfortably where you wont fall asleep. You can be crossed legged on the floor, or sat in a chair with your feet flat and your back straight.
Make an effort with the next breath to relax your body. Imagine un-clenching your body like a fist on the next out breath.
Keep your eyes closed during the meditation, and focus your attention inward.
Take a deep breath in, and breath out.
SENDING LOVING-KINDNESS:
Hold in your mind an image of someone you love or you’re close to. They are very similar to you. While you might have different thought, values, and beliefs, you both want to be happy.
Imagine yourself sending that person love, wellness and compassion.
In your mind you can even repeat a phrase like the following:
May you live peacefully, may you find happiness, may you be free from pain.
May you live peacefully, may you find happiness, may you be free from pain.
May you live peacefully, may you find happiness, may you be free from pain.
Next imagine someone neutral, you may not be particularly close to this person, but they are looking for the same things as you.
Hold an image of them in your mind and repeat the meditation. Remember, they are just like you; you are both human and you both seek happiness, well-being and health.
Finally think of someone you have reason to dislike. They may have wronged you in the past or done something you disagree with. However, people often do what they think is right, sometimes they simply have very different values or less control over their negative actions.
Repeat the same meditation:
May you live peacefully, may you find happiness, may you be free from pain.
May you live peacefully, may you find happiness, may you be free from pain.
May you live peacefully, may you find happiness, may you be free from pain.
SENDING LOVING KINDNESS TO YOURSELF:
This practice doesn’t have to be limited to other people.
These days we tend to be hard on ourselves. Social media and modern technology means that we’re always comparing ourselves to a perfect, polished version of someone else. This can cause us to compare who we are to something fabricated, and it can cause unnecessary pressure, criticism and judgement.
You are where you are, accept it and embrace it.
Sit comfortably and imagine yourself in your mind. Imagine the happiest, warmest version of yourself. Send yourself loving kindness.
You want to same as most other people, a happy, content and enjoyable life. You can even repeat a phrase:
I am where I am, I can’t control much of the world around me but I can control my response and my actions.
I am where I am, I can’t control much of the world around me but I can control my response and my actions.
I am where I am, I can’t control much of the world around me but I can control my response and my actions.
It’s important not to place unrealistic expectations on yourself. Expectation hands over our well-being to some point in the future. If the expectation is not met, we have set ourselves up to suffer.
RECEIVING LOVING-KINDNESS:
With your eyes closed, imagine someone close to you and hold their image in your mind. It can be someone you love, a good friend, even the deceased.
Imagine this person in-front of you. They are sending you their love, support, kindness and compassion. They are wishing you happiness. Focus on the warmth coming from that person.
Next, imagine another person you love sitting down with you also. They begin sending you the same feeling of warmth and compassion as the first.
Finally imagine you are sat with all of the people in you’re life that you love and have loved. You are surrounded by those close to you, and they’re all sending you loving kindness, compassion and warmth.
Each and every one of them wants the best for you and you are filled with warmth, compassion, and love.
Enjoy your practice!